parenting

Adulting.

Yesterday was one of those days. It was a cold, snowy day here in New England and I certainly was not in the mood to “adult”. I rolled out of bed, got the kids ready and walked them up to the bus stop. Snow coming down as we walked quickly but steadily to the stop, as we were running late but also didn’t want to slip and fall.

The adults and kids are all there waiting in cold anticipation for the bus to arrive. Of course it’s late, it’s always late on the snowiest and coldest days. There’s a diverse group of adults, not in terms of skin color,  my neighborhood is about 90% white Irish. I think I may be the most “ethnic” with my Eastern European background. But diverse in terms of career. Some in suits ready to rush to work after the bus arrives and others in much more casual attire, like myself who arrived in pajamas. I feel grateful that I don’t have to make the mad dash to an office but can’t help but feel a sense of shame as well.

I work part time and am home mostly with my children. I’m very blessed for that. It sometimes makes me uneasy when I feel as though others don’t understand what I “do all day.” I’m crazy about my children and love being home with them. Taking care of my kids certainly takes up most of my time! I struggle with telling people that I’m a “blogger” or a “stylist” in my spare time, since it’s not a steady office job with benefits. I enjoy everything I do, but most people don’t understand it and sometimes think I’m living in la la land hoping to make a living out of what I love doing. Especially at the tender age of 39.

Perhaps these feelings stem from my own insecurities. Do others suffer with this same feeling when they stand at the bus stop? That feeling of “what do all these people think of my life choices”? Sounds silly and I realize I’m not that important for everyone to be thinking about, but it crosses my mind at times when I’m feeling particularly glum and insecure.

In the meantime I’m going to keep updating my blog in my “spare time” and I’m going to shop for prettier pajamas to wear to the bus stop…

This is pretty much what I was wearing this morning. Except mine had a donuts and coffee print making me feel even more silly and pushing me further in a state of questioning my purpose in life. I love these, they remind me of the pajamas my grandfather used to wear.

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Jogger bottoms are the best, they’re comfortable and wearable in public. Make this a full outfit with a sweater and boots. Monotone is the look right now, so I picked a cream sweater and booties to complete the style.

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Would you feel comfortable wearing pajamas to the bus stop?

xo,

Hilary

 

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Coping with Fashion Bullying

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I’ve had an interesting week dealing with multiple circumstances involving bullying. When you’re a parent it tends to come up a lot. Whether your child is bing bullied or they are the culprit, it’s a tough subject. Especially because it’s something all of us deal with throughout our lives so it’s so important to arm your child and yourself with the skills to deal with such nonsense.

What does this have to do with fashion? Fashion is one area that people get bullied about a lot. Most of us have heard or maybe even delivered the line “did you see what she’s wearing?!”  in that snobby, condescending and borderline frightened tone. And I suppose if you want to quietly judge someone behind their back that’s you’re prerogative but it’s not kind or productive to blatantly or passive aggressively hurt someone’s feelings based on something superficial and relative to one’s own taste.

So what happened to spawn my writing on this subject? My son wore a hat to school, not the common baseball hat, but a fedora that to me is adorable and even more adorable that he wanted to wear it. I had my suspicions that he may get made fun of because of it and he did. On the bus they grabbed it, through it back and forth making fun of him for wearing it. This broke my heart. As it does when something of this nature happens to your child. I want him to feel free to be himself and not care what others think of him but know this is an impossibility. I know he will forever be affected by what others think. Others opinions are good to the extent that you can learn from them when they are asked for, constructive and not delivered in a way to tear the person down.

I know that my son will never wear this hat to school again and that to me is a loss. But I will keep telling him to be himself and do what makes him happy as long as it’s not hurting anyone else. And most importantly I tell him and my other sons to “keep doing the things that make you different because that’s what makes you wonderful and will ultimately be appreciated by the people you truly want in your life.” It’s also how you will stand out among the crowd and be successful at whatever it is you want to accomplish.

Fashion is a great way to make a statement and get noticed. There are so many examples of entertainers standing out with their fashion choices. They are ultimately the ones people idolize and want to replicate. Here are some examples of fashion risk takers who influenced the world: