Yesterday was one of those days. It was a cold, snowy day here in New England and I certainly was not in the mood to “adult”. I rolled out of bed, got the kids ready and walked them up to the bus stop. Snow coming down as we walked quickly but steadily to the stop, as we were running late but also didn’t want to slip and fall.
The adults and kids are all there waiting in cold anticipation for the bus to arrive. Of course it’s late, it’s always late on the snowiest and coldest days. There’s a diverse group of adults, not in terms of skin color, my neighborhood is about 90% white Irish. I think I may be the most “ethnic” with my Eastern European background. But diverse in terms of career. Some in suits ready to rush to work after the bus arrives and others in much more casual attire, like myself who arrived in pajamas. I feel grateful that I don’t have to make the mad dash to an office but can’t help but feel a sense of shame as well.
I work part time and am home mostly with my children. I’m very blessed for that. It sometimes makes me uneasy when I feel as though others don’t understand what I “do all day.” I’m crazy about my children and love being home with them. Taking care of my kids certainly takes up most of my time! I struggle with telling people that I’m a “blogger” or a “stylist” in my spare time, since it’s not a steady office job with benefits. I enjoy everything I do, but most people don’t understand it and sometimes think I’m living in la la land hoping to make a living out of what I love doing. Especially at the tender age of 39.
Perhaps these feelings stem from my own insecurities. Do others suffer with this same feeling when they stand at the bus stop? That feeling of “what do all these people think of my life choices”? Sounds silly and I realize I’m not that important for everyone to be thinking about, but it crosses my mind at times when I’m feeling particularly glum and insecure.
In the meantime I’m going to keep updating my blog in my “spare time” and I’m going to shop for prettier pajamas to wear to the bus stop…
This is pretty much what I was wearing this morning. Except mine had a donuts and coffee print making me feel even more silly and pushing me further in a state of questioning my purpose in life. I love these, they remind me of the pajamas my grandfather used to wear.
Jogger bottoms are the best, they’re comfortable and wearable in public. Make this a full outfit with a sweater and boots. Monotone is the look right now, so I picked a cream sweater and booties to complete the style.
Would you feel comfortable wearing pajamas to the bus stop?